Posted by: zenmamajo | February 3, 2012

Kids Say the Darndest Things…

what sort of clever lines and conversations do your children come up with? the following are compliments of my sweet kids…

The eldest:

me: maybe we should put moles on your chins like mine and see if daddy notices.
eldest: i know! we can put something black on our chins and then tie a string to it and…
me: tie a string? why is that?
eldest: because you have a hair on your mole…

twin 2: mommy, why men penis-es soOOO big?
me: (stay calm…stay calm…) hmmm…how big do you think they are?
twin 2: THIS BIG! (both arms stretched out to the side)
the eldest: twiiiiiin…it’s not THAT big…a man’s penis is only this big…
(eldest demonstrates with her hands a more realistic measurement…)
me: so…why do you think that?
eldest (who is newly 6, btw…): moooom….it’s obvious when they wear pants you can see how big it is and how long it is.

!?!?!?!?

the following is when the eldest was about 4 yrs old

me: you sure are taking a while to eat that…
eldest: i’m savoring it.

eldest: mommy, do you know why it’s called ‘singular’ (medication)?
me: (absently…) no, probably because the company came up with that name…
eldest: OR maybe because it’s only one pill…

me: would you like to go for a bike ride with daddy? (it was a crisp fall day)
eldest: i don’t have the appropriate clothes for the weather to go bike riding. (can i just say a ‘no’ would have sufficed?!!)

eldest: mommy, 2+2+1=5
me: how do you know that?
eldest: see (holding up one hand) 2 (indicating two fingers) plus 2 (indicating two more fingers) plus 1 (indicating the last finger) equals 5!

eldest: mommy, i love my sisters.
me: that’s sweet to say – they love you too. they always get excited when you wake from nap.
eldest: one day i’m going to have to find a man to marry and move far away and will miss them.
me: *chuckle* honey, you’re only four. all you need to worry about is learning your abcs.

one day my dad (grandpa) visited and took the eldest to pottery. apparently he struggled with the car seat belt for awhile…

eldest: grandpa. it took us longer to fasten the seatbelt than to get here. (and she was tellin’ the truth…)

eldest: mommy, where are his eyebrows? (asking about her baby brother when he was first born)

the following are when the eldest was about 3yrs old…
dad: (says something inaccurate)
eldest: you’re wrong! i’m right! i’m a role model!

eldest: mommy, i would like a brother.
me: oh – why is that?
eldest: play with him and when he gets bigger i can marry him.

me: eldest, it’s almost time for lunch.
eldest: i want bread.
me: you had bread for breakfast. we need meat and other vitamins for lunch.
eldest: (without batting an eye) bacon is meat.
me: yup.
eldest: i want bacon for lunch.

Twin 1:

avocados = apple – cados
edamames = eda-mommies
ymca = y-men-ca
chicken pot pie = chicken hot pie
curious george = monk, monk george…then it became monkey george

twin 1: i yike the tree of hope kick-off (it was a local campaign our family was helping with)
me: oh – why is that?
twin 1: cuz. i yike hearing you speech.
me: what did you like about it?
twin 1: cuz – i yike you.
me: oh – that’s nice.
twin 1: i yike you hair.

Twin 2:

computer = row-pew-ter
disgusting = bus-gusting!
spaghetti = pus-ghetti
gas = pass gass (as in: “i ‘mell pass gas!’)

on your mark, get set, go = mark! to set! go!

“mommy, why you seep soooo yooooong?” (busted *hahah*)

The Little Boss:

NO!
duck
stuck
abble
ice-keem
chicken
oofffffff
UP!

okay – so those are not that funny – it’s the food trend that’s funny to us *grin*.

so what are your stories?

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Responses

  1. Very very very cute!

    • thx – kids in general crack me up *haha*

  2. Kids are pretty awesome and what comes out of their mouths is INSANE! Some of your stories are hilarious! Currently granola bars are Barb-B-Q…or so says Gooner.

  3. ahhh – gooner is so clever – i can see the connection! (only another mom would though *haha*). speaking of granola bars – do you make your own? if so, do you have a link to a recipe?

  4. Thanks for your comment on my kid-talk post. Kind of you.

    • no problem – it was great – congrats on being freshly pressed! thanks for stopping by 🙂


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