Posted by: zenmamajo | January 23, 2011

“Daddy’s Don’t Play Tea Party…”

flashback – 2007…

my then firstborn 2yr old sweetly asked “daddy, would you like to play tea party with me?” to which my husband responds “daddy’s don’t play tea party…”. after some (not so) gentle prodding from me, he relented and so began a journey of discovering girl play.

present day…

my husband is the middle of three boys (bless his mother’s heart…). he confided in me during our dating year (singular because we dated less than a year…another blog, another day) how uncomfortable he was with the ladies. he grew up with brothers and had mainly male friends through college and afterwards.

much of our marriage has been spent learning what it means to be male and female – the similarities and differences between the two.

he doesn’t love the infant stage (which i so don’t get!), i do.
he loves football, i don’t (which he doesn’t get).
i love quirky movies, he doesn’t.
he loves video games, i don’t (unless it’s on-line scrabble…).
boys love crashing and burning, girls love tea parties.

i wish when i was engaged that i had written down expectations of marriage because what marriage is like is nothing i ever imagined. we just simply didn’t get each other (and still don’t most of the time)! i mean, why didn’t it bother him that he leaves drawers and cabinet doors open??? and why does he only want me to give him one request at a time rather than five???

we recently celebrated six years of marriage and i think the biggest lesson i’ve learned is that marriage is mostly about appreciating rather than understanding our differences. i really don’t need to ‘get’ him all the time. it’s more about accepting how he is and joining him in his interests because, well: it’s how is is and what he likes.

he doesn’t really ‘get’ the girl play, but he appreciates having three little girls who adore their daddy and want to spend time with him. since the infamous “daddy’s don’t play tea party” day…he has since:

had his finger and toes painted (in bright red polish), worn hair clips, and was in the middle of a ‘spa day’ today (which prompted this entry) where he had his ‘brows waxed’, feet massaged, had a facial, ‘hair clipped’ and who knows what else by our now 5yr old and her twin 2 yr old sisters (thank you to Fancy Nancy’s Ohh La La It’s Beauty Day for prompting the creative juices and showing us how daddy’s can appreciate girl play!)

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