Posted by: zenmamajo | January 23, 2011

Dirty Pampers! Messy Eaters! Frazzled Mom! The Blessing (or curse?) of Children…

are children really a blessing?

we live in a spacious, single-level house that rests beneath an 11 unit apartment complex. the sounds of our home on a typical day include: the click-click-click of high heel princess shoes, sing-songy voices performing an improv story, high-pitched screams requesting help (or frustration or both), a 5 year old violinist, “why? why dat mama? whhhhhhy?”, “no! no! noooOOOOOO!”, baby cries, feet bounding through the house, papers shuffling, door/drawers opening and closing, children laughing, my voice urging the children towards the next activity or asking them to please, please, PLEASE let me use the bathroom alone!, daily “daddy! daddy! daddy!” chant as dad walks in the door, neighbors walking, talking, and creating other noise that travel through the walls to our ears.

in other words: there is a lot, a lot, a lot of noise in our house. a lot.

as an only child and someone who lived primarily alone over the years (with the exception of a few roommates in college and shortly afterwards), adjusting to the level of noise in our home has been an incredible challenge and learning experience.

i was the person who boarded a crowded plane, saw the parents with small children and prayed the silent mantra “oh great…please don’t let them cry, Lord, please don’t let them cry…”, the person who thought every screaming child at the restaurant was a direct result of poor parenting, the person annoyed with moms who took their sick kids to the grocers, the person who never really thought i’d be on the receiving end of that criticism and how life with so many little ones means sacrificing…

in this case: sacrificing my personal time and space.

God has used my children to shine a light on my often critical spirit and inadequacies. let’s face it: raising children is hard. no – it’s harder than hard: it’s impossible and it’s a miracle that people do it. He is teaching me that the sweetness of blessings are experienced only through sacrifice. those sacrifices, while sometimes painful, reveal a better me in turn allowing me to be a better wife and mother. God has blessed me through them by teaching me patience, compassion, prioritization, and most importantly: how to love sacrificially.

are children really a blessing? i say yes – despite our (organized) chaos.

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